PDX

It's that time again; the time where i can't sit still i go crazy and need to be doing something with my life. Believeing that nothing i ever do is an acomplishment, only a means to and end.

While laying in my bed a couple weeks ago i was debating taking the gigantic leap and finally moving to Portland; which was always the plan in my mind when i moved up from California, even before i started dating Steph. Slowly and surely though, life took it's evil role of making my personal life HELL. Really that's a different topic anyhow.

On the level now, I was laying there... thinking, planning (which isn't smart for me to begin, i get too carried away), and then BAM! I just decided what the hell i have nothing to lose, i'm going to do it. Everything i own is practically in boxes in a storage shed anyhow, what am i waiting for? To become financially stable? It's just not going to happen, i need to push forward, i'm settling. What's the worse thing that could happen... i lose my ass and end up homeless, hell i can live with that, it's almost summer, nothing wrong with camping out. Actually, probably the absolute worse thing that could happen is: my car gets stolen or broken in to. The one thing i actually own and care about. But it's a car, that's going to happen some day, maybe. Who knows, who cares... IT'S A CAR!

...back to planning...

So, i was laying there... planning, making it happen. And suddenly everything clicked, my plans fell into place; I got a roommate, an apartment, a little cash saved (wont last long but hey, nothing ever does), and everything just seemed to fit, just slide into place. It was amazing really. I quit stressing and it's truly working. I have an amazing roommate, i really like the apartment and the area, i have no steady income but who does in this society?! I know that it will work because... well, i'll make it work.

It's a mind set; if you want it... then go get it. It's never going to happen if you just sit around and dream about it. At least that's what i tell myself. It's probably just a bunch of humbo jumbo crap but oh well, that's life; you win some, you lose some. It's the journey, right?! <- (More crap).