Updates

Wow! I forgot that I had a Blog and I spent all day trying to recall my password to get into it because I would like to start writing again. Huzah! I am finally in, no time to waste, I have nothing really to say but I know that I should write at least a little updating blog to tell you where I have been for the past couple years. ^_^ Currently, I live on the east coast, which is a big change from the west coast where I used to reside. Mainly the weather is the biggest change of all,Oregon is colder and where I live now is hot and humid.Gross. I don't care to sweat. Which takes all the fun out of outdoor games and such, unless, there is water involved. I don't even know what I am rambling on about, you probably care nothing about me or my life. I bet you just happened to stumble across this blog.

Four Days!

My trucks loaded down, completely packed from top to bottom. Even lagged with the burden of a tow trailer. I'm set, i'm ready to go. Ashley and I are excited and it's really happening. We're MOVING! The count down has begun. dunt dun dun...

Other highlights include:

I have no bed now... i also have no clothes... my cars already loaded and i still have four days to go. I think i got a bit ahead of myself this time, thoughts?

PDX

It's that time again; the time where i can't sit still i go crazy and need to be doing something with my life. Believeing that nothing i ever do is an acomplishment, only a means to and end.

While laying in my bed a couple weeks ago i was debating taking the gigantic leap and finally moving to Portland; which was always the plan in my mind when i moved up from California, even before i started dating Steph. Slowly and surely though, life took it's evil role of making my personal life HELL. Really that's a different topic anyhow.

On the level now, I was laying there... thinking, planning (which isn't smart for me to begin, i get too carried away), and then BAM! I just decided what the hell i have nothing to lose, i'm going to do it. Everything i own is practically in boxes in a storage shed anyhow, what am i waiting for? To become financially stable? It's just not going to happen, i need to push forward, i'm settling. What's the worse thing that could happen... i lose my ass and end up homeless, hell i can live with that, it's almost summer, nothing wrong with camping out. Actually, probably the absolute worse thing that could happen is: my car gets stolen or broken in to. The one thing i actually own and care about. But it's a car, that's going to happen some day, maybe. Who knows, who cares... IT'S A CAR!

...back to planning...

So, i was laying there... planning, making it happen. And suddenly everything clicked, my plans fell into place; I got a roommate, an apartment, a little cash saved (wont last long but hey, nothing ever does), and everything just seemed to fit, just slide into place. It was amazing really. I quit stressing and it's truly working. I have an amazing roommate, i really like the apartment and the area, i have no steady income but who does in this society?! I know that it will work because... well, i'll make it work.

It's a mind set; if you want it... then go get it. It's never going to happen if you just sit around and dream about it. At least that's what i tell myself. It's probably just a bunch of humbo jumbo crap but oh well, that's life; you win some, you lose some. It's the journey, right?! <- (More crap).

For some strange reason, after all the rain of the past two months; it has broken out and became sunny. *confused* I'm not sure if it is a sign of further happiness or the actual fact that summer is on it's way and then I'll be wishing for rain. Truly hard to say.

News of the past few months:

Nothing really exciting to say besides i've been hanging out with certain people, and that little spark has been reignited. Which i'm hoping is a good thing. Or she could be saying all these sweet things i want to hear just in fear of losing me for good. Again, hard to say. Though i don't really care either way because at the moment i am happy the way things are. Extremely happy with the way things are... :)

I'm am PADI open water scuba certified. And actually this weekend i'm heading up to Washington to be PADI advanced scuba certified. The course is wonderful and i'm really enjoying myself in it. Next adventure will be to master something like rock climbing, kayaking, white water rafting, or maybe martial arts. Lately, the physical classes have been better for me to get my mind off things and keep in shape.

No more...

It's amazing how after awhile you realize how much better off you are from changes that have happened in your life.

I know that i myself have re-evaluated my life many times but my long term goals never seem to change. I go through phases, change and adapt, move and surround myself with new people...

I'm ready, ready to move on now.

Living life like a book title...

So, as many know... I work in a massive book shipping company and i see book titles galore. I've gotten into this habit lately were i think that every book title relates to me in some form or fashion. It's quite ridiculous really. I've found books on everything under the sun but lately I've been getting a lot of books on; "Ten ways to screw up your relationship", "Killing Fields", "Travel to Cambodia", "How to deal with the loss of a loved one", "When it's Over", "Get over yourself", and "FU Penguin". Which I feel are all relating... haha.

I find more everyday that just make me laugh, especially, when i try to relate them to my life in someway. Its become sort of an obsession now and it makes the long days go by much faster. Though, I feel like one of those people who are obsessed with scrabble and end up walking down the street shouting out random words, yep, that's me. "Every book in the world relates to my sad pathetic life". haha.

I think about my ex constantly, which is extremely unhealthy... but i miss her. I'm trying to move on and it's horribly backfiring. I still want to be with her and can't help but wish things were different now.

But this video makes me laugh... and i get a second of happiness, which is nice.



It makes me feel as if i'm not the only person that has ever went through this and there are still happy times to come.

And... i'm going to live out of a backpack and convert one person at a time to love me (since i don't have any musical talent).

If you think i'm fine, it just ain't true...

I've never felt anything in the world like this before... now i'm missing you and wishing you'd come back trough my door. I really need you in my life. You got me feeling lost...

If you think i'm fine, it just ain't true...



This is defiantly going to take time. This is a little bit more than I can stand.